Our experiences early in life shape our beliefs. They are a type of legacy and influence our day-to-day life. Yet, how often do we question the legacy we carry? Rarely. It’s mostly unconscious. Our ego or inner-critic will do anything to keep it that way. However, we can create awareness and cultivate a conscious legacy. In choosing what we take with us, we improve the quality of our lives and positively impact the next generation.
I know it isn’t easy. It’s damn hard. Yet, it’s SOO worth it! While you may discover beliefs that are no longer helpful, you may also discover beliefs that are worth celebrating. I know for myself, the process has helped me acknowledge my painful experiences with compassion, and has helped me deepen my empathy and gratitude for my own parents.
I want to share with you a short, easy process to help bring your beliefs into the conscious. I will use examples I have discovered to get you going.
DECONSTRUCTION AND REFLECTION
Find a quiet place, and read each of the beliefs below three times out loud. Reflect on the words. Trust your gut. Your first response is often very insightful.
Strength and beauty are mutually exclusive
Worth and value are in hands of others
Curiosity and exploration are wonderful.
Needs and boundaries are not OK
Creativity is special.
Motherhood without a career is lethal
Always be dedicated and persistent – never give up
Expression of my sensuality and sexuality is inappropriate as a mother
Playfulness is not OK as a parent.
Learning is central to the human experience.
Resilience is important.
What resonates with you? What words stand out for you? Would you replace any words to fit you better?
What happens within your body as you read the beliefs? Does you your body stiffen? Do you cross your arms? Has your pulse rate increased? Is your chest tightening? Do you notice shallower breathing?
If none resonate, consider what beliefs surround career, family, friendship, money, or spirituality/faith. Remember to have compassion for yourself dear one. Sometimes your reactions may be strong and unexpected.
REFRAMING AND RECONSTRUCTION
What can you do when you discover a negative response? Firstly, get it out of your head. Voice it. This could be with a trusted friend or professional support person. Or you could write it down and burn it as an offering. Alternatively bury it, or even scrunch it up in a ball and throw it away. Trust your intuition. Your heart knows the best method for you.
Next, try to reframe the belief. You can do this by flipping the belief on it’s head. For example: Worth and value are in hands of others VS I am worthy and valuable. What other people think of me is simply feedback of their current experience.
Again, be patient and compassionate with yourself. You may need to repeat this process a number of times. Persist. You are worth the effort and time. Give yourself this precious gift. Experiencing resistance? I know how hard this can be, and can support you on your journey. Want to learn more? Click on the link below to connect and learn more.
