My journey towards motherhood has deeply impacted my identity as a woman. It awakened a part of me that I had been wrestling with for years. It was time, she refused to be ignored any longer. Motherhood served as the catalyst for me to own my feminine, intuitive, creative, and powerful self. It has brought me into deeper relationship with my body, and the wisdom it holds within. Motherhood has taught me to trust my intuition and the power it has to navigate life’s choices. While I have sought to forge my own path since my early 20s, motherhood was the significant life challenge I needed to take me deeper still.
What about motherhood catalysed this shift? It is her ability to confront innumerable unhelpful beliefs. Essentially our children point towards where we need to do deeper work. It is their lack of filters, and their ability to mirror our behaviour (both positive and negative) that is so revealing. When we get triggered by their behaviour, and experience an over-the-top response, it is our flag and alert. If only we would be observant and curious.
It is through such experiences that I realised I clung to many unhelpful beliefs. Particularly around what it means to be a woman. Two examples included the following. I believed I had to prove my worth and value as if I were a man, and only through a career. I also believed that femininity was weak and dangerous. Even writing these down now, my heart fills with compassion for my younger self. What an impossible situation. As I became a mother, I realised that these beliefs no longer served me, nor did they serve the women before me. I chose to face and transform these beliefs. Thus, I was able to embrace the many qualities I held as a woman. My femininity, intuition, wisdom, and creativity. I found the essence of myself and it was powerful.
This transformation was not an easy process. It included many hours of therapy, and personal work. By the time I became a mother, my tool kit to support myself had grown. Countless journals filled my shelves, full of unbridled feelings, thoughts and experiences. Yoga and meditation were close companions. Spending time in nature, both moving and being still, were vital lifelines. Tools I have since rediscovered include the power of dance and movement, where I can let go of unhelpful feelings and get to the core of how I am. Observation as a personal practice, where I ask myself compassionate questions after being triggered, has also been added. There are so many more tools that I could write about, beyond what I identify with. The beauty of a tool kit is that is it unique as the person who fills it. The ideas are endless.
You can transform beliefs that no longer serve you too. You can use the significant, challenging event in your life to move forward. You can also discover and embrace parts of yourself that have always been there, but haven’t been allowed the space.
What is the most challenging aspect for you? What would it take for you to start?
